shampoo:

how do i achieve immortality and perfect eyebrows

(Source: elliecyrah)

  • me as a pedestrian: [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM
  • me driving: say your prayers

The Fame + emojis

(Source: parrtynauseous)

scaredpotter:

"i don’t have time to start reading that book" [opens 200k fic]

trust:

i think the only thing ill ever be proud of is one of my selfies being used as a emo porn site advertisement 

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itsbetterthananal:

im waiting for the day i can use this as a reaction image and confuse everyone for a good 5-30 seconds before they get it

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freddiefrowns:

that one female character that a lot of people hate and when questioned they all say “we would hate them if they were a guy too!!”

buT YOU KNOW

YOU KNOW THAT IS A PACK OF LIES

LIKE for skeletons, REBLOG for gay communist skeletons, IGNORE for boys

(Source: ihopethepeople)

fat-amy:

when relatives are coming over and they start talking to you and you act like you know who they are but in reality you’re like

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leomanaids:

bitchcraftandwiggatry:

dirudo:

"I’m not rich"

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"But I have a big dick"

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"I don’t have a big dick"

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"But I am rich"

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"I’m rich"

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"And I have a big dick"

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rvya:

that’s it. that’s the whole show.

(Source: orangeskins)