- me as a pedestrian: [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM
- me driving: say your prayers
The Fame + emojis
"i don’t have time to start reading that book" [opens 200k fic]
i think the only thing ill ever be proud of is one of my selfies being used as a emo porn site advertisement
im waiting for the day i can use this as a reaction image and confuse everyone for a good 5-30 seconds before they get it
that one female character that a lot of people hate and when questioned they all say “we would hate them if they were a guy too!!”
buT YOU KNOW
YOU KNOW THAT IS A PACK OF LIES
when relatives are coming over and they start talking to you and you act like you know who they are but in reality you’re like
"I’m not rich"
"But I have a big dick"
"I don’t have a big dick"
"But I am rich"
"And I have a big dick"